DRAGS ON …… DRAGONS

(Anagrammatic Story Title)

This story is dedicated to USA SubStackers — bold ideas and bigger coffee cups.

(At last: an authentic explanation for dragon extinction.)

🌧️

The Department of Mythical Relocation had one responsibility during the Great Flood Protocol:

Get every surviving creature pairs safely aboard the evacuation arks before civilisation disappeared underwater.

Unfortunately, the Department had been organised by committees.

§§§§§

🌧️

Queues stretched for miles.

A harassed official with a clipboard directed traffic beside Docking Ark Seven.

“Griffins to the left! Unicorns form pairs! Whoever parked the centaur across the loading ramp will be prosecuted!”

Nobody listened.

The trolls demanded extra legroom. The phoenixes kept bursting into flames during security checks. A group of mermaids complained the refreshment kiosk lacked seafood options “for obvious ethical reasons.”

🐲

At the very rear of the queue stood two dragons…..waiting since Wednesday.

Bernard, the larger of the pair, stared gloomily at the distant boarding gate.

“This,” he announced, “has become completely ridiculous.”

🐲

Cynthia, the residual of the pair, sighed. A small puff of smoke drifted from her nostrils and accidentally toasted a pigeon.

“Sorry,” she muttered, apologetically, “I didn’t mean to!”

Rain clouds gathered overhead. Sirens echoed across the harbour. Somewhere nearby, an official megaphone repeated:

“Flood Protocol begins in three hours. Please have boarding passes and claws ready.”

🐲

Bernard swallowed heavily.

“I’m starving.”

“So am I,” said Cynthia. “I’m beginning to look at the unicorns differently.”

🐲

Eventually Bernard approached the nearest official desk.

The exhausted clerk looked up nervously.

“Yes?”

“Terribly sorry to bother you,” said Bernard politely, “but Cynthia and I wondered whether there might be enough time for a quick dinner at Weather Spoons before embarkation.”

🐲

The clerk blinked twice.

“You want to leave?”

“Only briefly,” said Cynthia. “We’ve been queueing for two days and fourteen hours and famished.”

The clerk checked several forms, consulted a supervisor, then shrugged.

🐲

“Fine. But don’t be long.”

The dragons thanked him warmly and disappeared into the rainy evening.

§§§§§

Two hours later they were still inside Weather Spoons.

Bernard had discovered a copious amount of cheap lager and steak pie.

🐲

Cynthia had ordered her third basket of onion rings.

Outside, thunder shook the city.

“We really should go,” said Bernard.

“Yes,” agreed Cynthia, studying the dessert menu carefully.

§§§§§

🐲

By the time they finally left, floodwaters were surging through the streets.

“I can’t see the harbour, never mind the ark!” cried Cynthia.

“It was definitely near the large wooden structure!” Bernard shouted.

“That describes everything!”

Lightning flashed.

Ahead loomed a gigantic floating building filled with lights.

🐲

“There!” roared Bernard. “We made it!”

The dragons charged triumphantly inside.

Then stopped. It all looked…..different!

Silence.

🐟

Thousands of carp stared back at them through enormous tanks covering level after level.

Above the entrance swung a huge painted sign:

MULTI-STOREY CARP ARK

“Oh dear, spelling mistake or what?

Did they mean CAR PARK?” whispered Cynthia.

But, no. It was a carp ark!

🐟

Regrettably, the surviving dragon pair were stranded in the carp ark and eventually perished, forever!😢

§§§§§

Far away, through the storm, came the mournful blast of the final evacuation horn from Docking Ark Seven, fully loaded.

§§§§§

😂

Historians may still debate why dragons vanished forever.

😂

Now you know why and how they became extinct!

🌧️🐲🐟😢😂

🌧️🐲🐟😢😂

END (of dragons)

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